Violet’s Story

Regaining Control After 20 Years of Drinking Too Much

How much were you drinking before joining Just The Tonic?

I was drinking a bottle of wine 5 out of 7 nights a week… but sometimes on the other 2 days, I would still get a bottle of wine, and I’d drink it really early.

How long had you been drinking like this?

I think I’d been drinking at that level for about 20 years. I always liked a drink, but I could take it or leave it. But when I split up with my husband — because he had an affair with a friend — it got more over the years.

What made you want to change?

I think I just had enough, Sandra.

I didn’t really enjoy the taste, but as I say, it blotted things out, and it just seemed helpless to stop. I would say, “right, I’m going to stop on Monday”… but Monday would come, and I’d say, “f**k no, I’ll stop next Monday,” and it went on like that for ages.

I was sick and fed up with drinking. Not really doing anything the next day, because I felt ill.

Did you think this sober coaching programme was going to work?

No.
I tried so many other things and failed miserably. And I thought, well… give it a go, but… I don’t think it’ll work. And I think I said that to you — I don’t think it’ll work.

What was your experience with the group support?

Well, I felt I wasn’t alone in my fight, that I had support there, because everyone was very supportive and encouraging.

And if you did put a foot wrong, like have a glass of wine, you didn’t feel terrible about it, because you were owning up to it, and it made you accountable.

There was great support on the WhatsApp group. Really great support. Lovely people.
I felt like they’d become my family in the end, really.

How long have you been alcohol-free now?

I think it’s 94 days.

Do you feel that you don’t want to drink? Does it feel difficult?

No. Not at all.

I always think of what was said in one of the interviews… that when you drink, there’s a line, and it goes up with the first drink — but after that, it just goes down and down.

And then the next day, you look awful.

So I always think about that if I think, oh, I will have a drink.
I think of that 20-minute hit — it’s not worth it.

I don’t really crave it now. I’m quite happy with my alcohol-free wine.

You went on holiday to Cyprus. What was that like?

It was fine. I told my son, and he was delighted, said he was really proud of me.

Went through the airport with all these signs about alcohol — how it’s “good for you”, how it “brings you joy and happiness” — which isn’t true.

I went through the airport, had some lunch, and I had a bottle of fizzy water.
On the flight I had a black tea. And that was fine.

There was no alcohol there. My son went out and got me some alcohol-free lager… but it didn’t really bother me. I was happy to have a cup of tea, a glass of water, or a can of Coke. Didn’t bother me.

How did you feel in the mornings on holiday?

I wasn’t oversleeping. I was getting up quite early and jumping in the pool — even though I can’t swim.
It was lovely. Out in the sunshine. Really nice. With the family.

You started swimming lessons. Why wouldn’t you have done that before?

Well, if I had been drinking, I’d have been sleeping in.
I wouldn’t have made the lessons — they’re quite early in the morning — and I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on what the trainer was saying to me.

So I thought: I’m going to learn to swim.

I still can’t swim, but I’m keeping going at it.

Have you changed your mind about alcohol?

I just don’t want to drink now.
I see what it does to people, how much it costs financially, and how it hurts your family.

So, no — I won’t drink again. I know I won’t.

What difference does it make to your son?

I think he felt relieved, because I think he does worry about me…

He knew I would be well, not hungover the next day, not feeling ill.
He was proud of me for that.

How did that make you feel?

I was really happy. Yeah — really happy.

What part of the programme helped the most?

I think the modules were excellent.
That helped a lot — getting your head around how alcohol seems to be the be-all and end-all, how it “brings you fun”… but it doesn’t.

The modules explained how alcohol interrupts your sleep, how it causes relationship problems, how it strains you financially — everything.

The modules were really good, and I do keep listening to them.
I think you’ve got to put the work in.

You can learn more about the programme here:
👉 Sober Coaching Programme

What makes you feel confident you’re not going to drink again?

I think I’ve put in all this work, and I feel so good at the moment.
Why would I ruin it by having a drink?

I can enjoy myself without alcohol, because I’ve had all these firsts:

• First holiday without drinking

• First lunch with friends

• First sunny afternoon at a bowling match

• All without alcohol

So I know I can do it.

What would you tell others who are nervous about starting?

I would say: make the call.

Because I know it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, and you’ll reap the benefits a hundredfold.

And if I can do it at 72 — younger people can do it, I’m sure.

👉 Start here: Book a confidential discovery call