Rosemary Testimonial

Can you tell me about yourself?

I’m in my mid-60s. I’m fit and healthy, and I’m still working, driving all across the south of England for my job. I’ve recently been through a divorce and moved to a new area.

How much were you drinking before joining Just the Tonic?

Probably a bottle or nearly a bottle of wine most nights. And if I was meeting friends at the pub, I’d think I was only going to have one pint, but then it would be more like three and a half pints.

How long had you been drinking like this?

My ex husband drank every day, and I got sucked into drinking every day. I didn’t really want to, but I sort of did and sort of didn’t. He was very controlling, and it made it difficult to have alcohol-free days.

What made it escalate?

I thought once I was living on my own, it would be easy to move away from drinking every day. But I found it a lot more difficult than I thought. I’d have more alcohol-free days at first, and I felt in control. But over time, it just crept up again. When stressful things happened—the divorce process, filling in documents, writing Christmas cards to explain what had happened. I was knowingly drinking to dull the pain.

What was the impact on your life?

There was a constant chatter going on in my head. It was really stressful and anxiety-inducing: Today’s going to be different, I’m not going to drink. Then it comes to 6 o’clock, and you do. Then you feel cross with yourself. Oh, shall I have another one? Oh, I better not. Oh, well, I’m going to. Oh dear, I feel bad now. It was just wearing me down.

I was also concerned about my health. Alcohol has a bigger effect on you as you get older, and I want to have a full and active retirement.

What was your rock bottom?

It wasn’t one big moment, but a realisation that I couldn’t do it on my own. I had a lot of internal talk going on, and I knew how insidious alcohol is. I realised that the reasons you drink, and why it’s so difficult to stop, are hard to unravel on your own. The timing of my house move felt like a good moment to make a change, to break away from friends where drinking a lot was normal.

What changed now that you are alcohol free?

Everything. I sleep a lot, lot better now. If I do wake up, it’s not with that anxiety where lots of things are going around in my head. I have more energy, I’m more productive in the evenings, and I’m sharper in my thinking and communicating at work. I’m calmer.

That whole negative cycle of chatter in my head has completely gone. I’ve always been a positive person, but I’ve become a lot more positive because of that inner talk. My confidence has grown. I’m more willing to put across my view at work without waiting for it to be safe.

How do you feel about alcohol now?

It’s not hard at all. It’s not something I think about very much. When I do, it’s like, ‘Oh, in this situation, I used to have a drink, and now I’m in a much better place.’

I went to the theatre recently. Before, if I was driving, I would have felt deprived. This time, I felt totally in the moment. There were people drinking all around me from the train to the theatre, and it didn’t bother me at all. It was great to be on the train home, alert and awake, thinking about the evening and not downing cans of something.

What would you tell others struggling?

First, look back. If anything you’ve tried on your own had worked, you wouldn’t be looking for help. You need support, and that’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s not a failure or a weakness, it’s just what it is.

You have to really want to do it. But if you’re ready to change your life, and ready to do something about the amount you’re drinking, then go for it. Trust the process, because it works.