“I Love Being a Non-Drinker” — A Just The Tonic Coaching Story

Real experiences of changing your relationship with alcohol

Can You Tell Me About Yourself?

I live in Northern Ireland. I’m a full-time worker.

How Much Were You Drinking Before Joining Just The Tonic?

I would have been drinking daily, for sure, and at least a bottle of wine a night. Sometimes more, sometimes a couple beers, and then a bottle of wine.

On the weekends, it would have been heavier — probably would have been a couple bottles of wine.

I’d been doing that for a while.

How Long Had You Been Drinking Like This?

I felt like I’ve always had periods where I’ve struggled with alcohol.

I do think during COVID, it got heavier, and then it just kind of stayed that way.

What Was the Impact on Your Life?

I was so tired of it.

I hated what I was doing to myself. I’d have the anxiety in the mornings, I’d have the headache, that kind of sweating in the mornings.

I wasn’t going to drink that evening, and then by 5 o’clock it’d whirl around and I would.

I just felt trapped.

I didn’t know what to do, but I was miserable. I just was really unhappy.

I hated myself. I hated what I was doing to myself, but then felt like maybe I just didn’t care enough about myself to change.

It was just a vicious cycle.

What Made You Seek Help?

I’d started hearing about that grey area drinking.

I’d read a couple books, and there were some Facebook groups, but they were just so huge, so global, and so impersonal.

I came across Sandra on Facebook. I saw there was actually a Belfast woman on one of her videos, and I just thought, God, this might be a smaller group and maybe something that I can connect with.

So I thought, okay, I’m going to do it. I’m just going to book the call and see what happens.

What Was Your Goal When You Started?

I wanted to stop drinking.

I knew that’s what I needed, but I couldn’t do it on my own.

What I really wanted was that mind shift. I wanted not to want it.

I didn’t want to be white-knuckling all the time. I just wanted to be in a place where it’s like, this is my life, and I’m a non-drinker, and I don’t want it.

Were You Hopeful the Programme Would Work?

I wasn’t sure. I was nervous.

But I thought, you know what? I need to do something.

Sandra had asked me what would be the worst thing if I didn’t do this — and my worst thing was I just wouldn’t want to be here anymore.

So I knew I had to do something.

I just thought, trust it. Just go. Just do it.

How Did You Find the Programme and the Group?

The group was helpful.

I wanted a smaller group because I wanted to feel like I know people.

It was very supportive. You didn’t feel like you were in it on your own.

The group calls were nice, and it was good to put faces to the people.

Sandra is very good at commenting, doing little recorded messages for people. It felt personally supported.

I really enjoyed the recordings of the calls too. If you’re feeling low, you just stick it on, and it gives you that lift.

When Did Things Start to Change for You?

There were some pivotal things.

Journaling — which I’m not normally a journal person — it was around beliefs.

I had a really hard time dealing with negative emotions, and would drink them away.

Having the one-to-one coaching calls, looking at the critical head, and who you can truly be.

Looking at the beliefs.

It was those kinds of things that really gave me that mind shift.

Really knowing why am I drinking? What are the reasons?

And kind of releasing that and uncovering it.

It’s all the head stuff that makes you keep going back. You’re hiding behind the alcohol. You’re anesthetizing. You’re escaping.

You even lose who you really are.

It’s through that work that you kind of rediscover yourself.

How Do You Feel About Yourself Now?

I feel really good.

I like me.

I feel more grounded in myself, and more authentic or true.

My head has gotten so quiet.

I’m just more alive. I’m showing up.

I’m not hiding behind anxiety and feeling horrible, and having a voice in my head just berating me.

I definitely feel more comfortable in my own skin and at ease with myself.

I don’t analyze things as much.

I’ve got my life back — plus some.

I love being a non-drinker.

How Do You Feel About the Future and Social Situations?

I’m not worried about it.

It’s not that you never think about a drink — you know it’s everywhere.

There are times you’ll see something and have that flash of buying into it.

But because of what you learned, and the change in you, you can very quickly be like, that’s just marketing.

I like the way I am now so much. I just play it back.

I do not want to go back there.

To think something in a glass can take everything away that I’ve gained — I just wouldn’t give it to it.

I want to have a healthier lifestyle altogether, so why would I want to do something that counteracts that?

What Have Your Family Noticed?

My sons are delighted.

They’re proud of me.

They’ve seen me have some dry periods before, but I think they note that it’s probably more of a permanent change now.

What Would You Tell Others Who Are Struggling?

Take the risk.

There’s nothing to be afraid of.

I know what it’s like to feel such a dependence on alcohol that you’re wondering, how am I going to live without it?

But it’s so much better.

You have to feel the fear and do it anyway.

But it is so worth it.

Sandra puts her heart and soul into it, and has a great team of people around her.

Thinking About Changing Your Relationship With Alcohol?

If this story feels familiar, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to do it by willpower or isolation.

Just The Tonic Coaching offers a supportive, neuroscience-based approach designed for real people with real lives.