How much were you drinking and what problems was it causing?
I was binge drinking a bottle of wine at home at least 3 nights a week. I would skip dinner and favour drinking instead.I would forget whole conversations after one glass of wine. And after two glasses, often would have no recollection at all of the entire evening. Sometimes I stopped at one bottle and other times I would start on vodka at that point. I felt out of control with my drinking. I was not able to resist opening a bottle of wine at 6pm. I felt like my mind was taken over by something else once a craving hit and I wasn’t the one making decisions especially as I couldn’t remember what happened once I’d had a few drinks. I felt like I was being taken over by someone else who didn’t like me very much. The feeling of not remembering the night before is extremely anxiety provoking and I had no confidence in myself and low self worth as a result. I suffered so much as a result of my drinking. I had high levels of free floating anxiety and paranoia that latched onto anything they could. I had terrible sleep problems, low mood and irritability due to my drinking. I was constantly on the edge of exhaustion and breaking point due to the effort of parenting and working and home demands which all seemed so much more difficult with a hangover. I felt like a bad person who had this monstrous side I wasn’t able to control and all my energy was going into containing the monster. Alcohol affected my brain chemistry for sure.
What was the key reason you wanted to change- what motivated you?
My daughter motivated me. During lockdown, unfortunately my drinking started to all happen at home.I started to see myself through her eyes. I didn’t like what I saw or the behaviour I was imprinting on her. My most hopeful wish is that she will never drink and I realised I had to change my behaviour if I wanted hers to reflect that. I didn’t want her to have to suffer like I did. I wanted to be a better role model for her.
How did you discover me?
On Facebook. An ad popped up and I’m very dubious about pop up ads but especially on Facebook! I’ve been burned badly in the past with random products I have purchased! Anyway I was in a desperate place. I knew I needed help but didn’t know where to find it. I didn’t feel like an alcoholic but knew I had a problem.
Were you sceptical this method would work?
I wasn’t sceptical about the method. I was sceptical about myself! So many times in the past I have tried and failed to control my drinking. I knew I wanted to try and had to try something but doubted I could control that monster inside.
Did you try before to cut down or have a break from alcohol?
Yes, when pregnant and during dry Jan and both times was on the countdown to when I could next have my next drink. I had deeply ingrained beliefs that alcohol was this magic elixir which caused me to have this psychological dependence on it.
What amazing results did you get? – Has it allowed you to enjoy being a mum more? What about the impact on your career?
I have now been AF for 101 days and I never intend to drink again. I am so delighted and proud of myself that I challenged my deep beliefs and changed them. I no longer have any feelings of desire for alcohol and I feel free and in control of my life. The challenges of parenting have disappeared- I only found it challenging as I was always so exhausted from drinking and battling with myself to drink less. I used to over compensate for my drinking before and allow people to treat me with less than the respect and love I deserve. I no longer let people treat me like that and know I have the power the change anything in my life now. And the sleep! It didn’t think it possible to sleep as well as what I am now. Proper deep sleep that is mending all the tears in my self confidence and adjusting my brain chemistry. I used to dread going to bed and waking up with anxious racing thoughts. Its so lovely to consistently go to bed and wake up rested after a full night’s sleep. I’m also exercising more and better and eating less junk, just because I’m not hungover anymore. This is just after 101 days so looking forward to it just getting better and better.
What would you say to someone thinking of signing up to work with me?
Make the investment in yourself! Even if it does seem like a lot of money- The amount of physical benefits alone you receive from being AF will mean you’ll look 10 years younger and won’t have to fork out for Botox and all these mad face treatments. Forgo the face treatments and sign up to this instead!
What are you most excited about now that you are alcohol free?
Honestly? Just being in control of my life and proud of who I am. I’m not afraid of myself anymore. Everyone has a right giggle when we watch a movie and someone does something out of character when drunk but that stops being funny when it’s your life and you having to pick up the pieces of what you did and said when drunk. I’m looking forward to getting a chance to living this pretty wonderful life I’m lucky enough to have without the alcohol monster stampeding all over my precious health and relationships. I feel like I have been given a second chance at my life and am going to grab it with both hands!