Life Without Alcohol: How Going Alcohol-Free Gave Me My Life Back

Article from Tom, recently completing the JTT course:

When I was drinking, I often felt like life was passing me by. After work, the main goal of every evening was to finish a bottle of wine (and usually to make a start on the next one). Weekends would begin late with a hangover, and on Saturdays I gave myself permission to drink even more because I didn’t have to be in the office the next day.

Even on occasions that were meant to be special — like a wedding or a christening — I still think alcohol was in charge of whether I enjoyed them or not. I was cheerful with a drink in my hand, and irritable when I was without one (“Why is the service so slow…?”).

I had imagined that alcohol was helping me — to make socialising a little easier, then to forget about stressful days at work, and more recently to cope with the grief of losing my dad. Don’t get me wrong, I was painfully aware of the downsides. The worst was the anxiety I’d feel every morning when I woke up, fearful that I’d said or done something the night before that could have ruined a relationship, spoiled an event, or jeopardised my work.

But somehow, I always seemed to get away with it, so I convinced myself that it was worth the cost.

The Hidden Cost of Years of Drinking

What I hadn’t reckoned with was the cumulative effect of all those years of numbing out. It’s a difficult thing to identify when it’s happening to you over a long period of time, but I can now see that alcohol was narrowing my enjoyment of life — at first a little, then quite drastically.

When I was at school, I remember getting involved with everything: sports, music, reading, art, and any number of other activities. By the time I joined Just The Tonic in August 2025, I can honestly admit I only had one true interest left: alcohol.

Almost 100 Days Alcohol-Free

I’ve now been alcohol-free for almost 100 days, and I still have to pinch myself that it’s real.

The first few days were hard, but I noticed the benefits almost immediately. I’d woken up with a hangover every day for so many years that to feel fresh and recovered in the morning was a revelation.

A lot of the things I expected I would struggle with while living an alcohol-free life — dinner with friends, long-haul flights, even just getting to sleep — proved to be far less difficult than I’d imagined, especially with the support of the JTT coaches and modules.

Why “Sober” Never Felt Like the Right Word

I never liked the word “sober.” I’d first started drinking heavily at university partly to overcome social anxiety, so the last thing I wanted was to become a recluse or a killjoy.

I soon realised that this was a false choice.

Part of the Just The Tonic programme involves taking a 30-day break from drinking, which for me included going alcohol-free to a wedding. It felt different — I remember raising a champagne glass to my lips for the toasts, then not drinking it, as if I were mimicking normal human behaviour.

I felt a little uncomfortable when the dancing started, though I gave that a go (everyone else was too drunk to notice I was slightly awkward). But I had a lot of fun, and there were plenty of upsides.

I appreciated the hard work that goes into organising a wedding, and I felt more present for my friend. It was her wedding, after all.

Alcohol-Free Experiences: Different, But Better

I would say the same about my other alcohol-free experiences — different, but in a good way.

Conversations with friends are better when you’re not repeating yourself or interrupting because you haven’t been listening. Weekends become a proper break from work when you’re not tired, grumpy, and hungover.

I travel a lot for my job, and I used to rely on alcohol to ease the awkwardness of eating alone. On a recent trip to California, instead of drinking, I got a takeaway and sat by the sea watching the Pacific sunset.

I would never have done that if I were still drinking.

Learn more about the impact of alcohol on mental health

Rediscovering Life Without Drinking

It sounds clichéd, but I feel like I’m at the start of a journey.

My main motivation for getting control of alcohol was to feel more confident and less anxious, improve my health, and stop worrying that I was letting down my friends, family, and myself.

One unexpected benefit has been rediscovering what it means to be intentional. I’ve picked up interests I’d let slip over the years — including playing the piano again. I may not be as good as I once was, but I enjoy the challenge.

I’ve also found pleasure in trying new hobbies — anything mentally absorbing that’s both productive and enjoyable — and in being more present for my family and friends.

Now that I’m not planning my days around my next drink, I naturally want to try new things, have different experiences, and connect more deeply with people.

Looking Ahead Without Alcohol

I don’t have grand plans to transform my life, and I’m comfortable with that. It’s enough to take each day as it comes and stay open-minded.

For now, that means being fully present when my new nephew arrives in January. When I was drinking, I imagine I’d have bought an extravagant present and cooed on family occasions — but mostly stayed self-absorbed.

That’s not who I want to be.

I feel ready to take an interest, show up properly, and discover what comes next.

Curious about life without alcohol?
If Tom’s story resonates, you may benefit from learning more about changing your relationship with alcohol through expert, compassionate coaching.

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